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I’ve got a pretty fun set this week. Indie rock from the UK? Check. Got me some of that. Rap pioneer’s new album? Check. It’s here. New catchphrase? Check. I’ve got one of those, now. Something for the kids? Check. I can’t leave them out. Enjoy.

Wild Beasts - Two Dancers

Two Dancers

Wild Beasts

Released: September 8, 2009 (US)

If you haven’t heard of Wild Beasts before, you may be forgiven, but since this album “dropped” (whoops, I was going to use that word in my Jay-Z review) in the UK last month people (UK writers) have been raving and with good reason. Hitting North American shores this week, Two Dancers is the soundtrack to post-modernity, striking social graces, gender roles (hello falsetto!) and deference to the wayside. Only time will tell how shocking the reaction may be in an America, a simmering powderkeg of fauxmotion this past summer, but something tells me the overtly sexual, if not pagan tones of Two Dancers won’t sit well. That is, of course, contingent on people noticing. Please disregard the Billboard charts for search for the music vanguard. Look no further, because Wild Beasts are at the gates.

For a taste, check out “Hooting & Howling


Hatch me! Hatch me!
And baby, turns out I’m evil
In all my dreams, girls who’ll clothe me
Girls who’ll feed me
Girls who want me
Girls who need me
All you pretty things waiting for somebody
Number my babies and my broken body

– All The King’s Men

9/10

The Cribs - Ignore the Ignorant

Ignore the Ignorant

The Cribs

Released: September 7, 2009 (UK)

Ignore the Ignorant, the fourth offering from the band, and the first to feature Johnny Marr (of 80s pioneers, The Smiths) as a full-time member, is a tour de force. Adding Marr to the family band is really the cherry on top. His veteran presence is noticed in guiding the “kids” along, helping co-write all the songs on the album (not just guesting), most respectably on “We Share The Same Skies”, probably the best song on the album. Ignore the Ignorant seems to be the natural stepping stone for an evolving, and dare I say, maturing, band. It is not without a few awkward moments (to be expected when you mix three young brothers and Uncle Johnny), but it is certainly heading in the right direction.

For a taste, check out the stand-out “City of Bugs

I could be someone else if you’d rather
Try to win you over like a new stepfather
Smart, but still a sucker for whoever asks you
I pictured the scene
So you wont have to spell it out for me

– Cheat On Me

8/10

Jay-Z - The Blueprint III

The Blueprint III

Jay-Z

Released: September 8, 2009 (US)

I’m confused, Jay-Z. You have a song called “D.O.A (Death of Auto-tune)”, but you let Kanye West get his paws all over The Blueprint III. I’m not sure if you get irony. Maybe you’re just as confused as Kanye was on South Park over the “fishsticks” joke. What you are, however, is prepared. It’s quite obvious that your short-lived retirement was just a test run (talk to Brett Favre much?), but in the end, whenever you’re unable to toss the longballs, I’m glad to hear you’ve got things lined up to assist young rappers. “If you’re driving it, I drove it. You got it ‘cuz I sold it.” That’s right! Come on down to Jay-Z’s Used Auto Emporium for all the latest deals on pre-owned Rolls Royces. Playa haters not welcome. Ask about our financing options.

For a taste, check out “Off That”, with the memorable line “Tell Rush Limbaugh to get off my balls”. I hope he does. Cuz nobody steps on Jigga’s balls and gets away with it.

This is anti auto-tune
Death of the ringtone
This ain’t for iTunes
This ain’t for sing-a-longs
This is Sinatra at the opera
Bring a blonde
Preferably with a fat ass
Who can sing-a-song
Wrong
This ain’t politically correct
This might offend my political connects
My raps don’t have melodies
This should make jackers want go
And commit felonies
Get your chain tooken
I may do it myself
I’m so Brooklyn!
I know we facing a recession
But the music ya making gonna make it the
Great depression
Or your lack of aggression
Pull your skirt back down
Grow a set man

– D.O.A. (Death of Auto-tune)

7.5/10

Jet - Shaka Rock

Shaka Rock

Jet

Released: September 7, 2009 (UK)

What in tarnations is Shaka Rock? Now, I am just making this up, as I have no idea, but I imagine it’s the kind of stuff that Keith Richards and Mick Jagger would come up with after going on an all-week bender.

“Shaka rock, Mick?”
“Yeah, Keith.”
“…ahhh…Shaka….Rock….La di da….”

So, naturally, Jet does their best Stones impression (again) and come up with Shaka Rock. If you aren’t familiar with Jet, let me use those SAT comparisons everyone is so fond of.

Jet : Rolling Stones
as
a) Oasis : The Beatles
b) Justin Timberlake : Michael Jackson
c) Seal : Marvin Gaye
d) John Mayer : Anyone with talent
e) All of the above

I haven’t figured out whether Jet are the greatest garage band in the world, or the worst stadium band of all-time. The truth may lie somewhere in between. There is something listening to them that just clicks and you go, “Yeah, Shaka Rock.” And then about forty-five minutes later you go, “No more Shaka Rock?” It’s unassuming (in the sense that you don’t realize you like it) and presumptuous (in the sense that Jet knows you will like it) at the same time. Shaka Rock. But in the end, when you run out of whiskey, and/or Mick leaves to return to his latest supermodel wife, you are left with nothing but an empty bottle and whatever Shaka Rock hangover lingers there.

For a taste, check out the video for “She’s A Genius” (she may be a genius, but she looks like freakin’ Chewbacca). Shaka Rock.

I don’t know anymore
What I need and what for
All I know, is there must be something more
La di di La di da
How did we ever get this far
Well I know, that there must be something more

– La Di Da

7/10

Boys Like Girls - Love Drunk

Love Drunk

Boys Like Girls

Released: September 8, 2009 (US)

Boys Like Girls are pretty much the band you’d expect to see in the background of the climactic scene in a Disney-produced teen movie as the protagonist and their love interest, after a series of scuffles and missteps, finally “find” themselves. If that warms your heart, by all means go and find yourself a copy of Love Drunk. If it makes you want to vomit, listen to “Real Thing”, which does all of the above, only with a definite 80s vibe, for ironic kitsch value (maybe?). I can’t wait for Love Drunk II.

For a taste, check out the title-track/lead single “Love Drunk” (mmm Ashley Tisdale….I mean….no, no, I meant that. Even if she does look a little dim)

All the time I wasted on you
All the bullshit you put me through
I’m checking into rehab
‘Cause everything that we had
Didn’t mean a thing to you

I used to be love drunk
Now I’m hung over
I’ll love you forever
But now I’m sober

– Love Drunk

6/10

*In case you haven’t figured it out “Shaka Rock” is the new catchphrase, although “Tell Rush Limbaugh to get off my balls” does have potential.

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